Friday, May 21, 2010

Little Fucker.


So there is a genius mouse living in my garage. (Or at least there was. Muahaha) For MONTHS now, I have been trying to catch the fucking thing, and it takes the bait off the trap and MOVES the trap. The first few times he moved it in front of the stairs leading into the garage, thankfully I was momentarily smarter than the rodent and stepped safely over the trap. (phew)
Usually when I come into the garage to do laundry, the mouse scurries away from the mess he makes with my trash, and hides until the next day. Well this past week the little fucker just stares me down! I would walk in (jerking the door loudly, as usual, hoping to scare him) and he would just stare at me with those little black mischievous eyes. Well my laundry had been sitting in the dryer for about a week because the mouse was not allowing me to enter "his domain", so I decided enough was enough and I wasn't going to put up with this mouse's shit anymore. So I called my dad and told him I had some "manly things" for him to come do at my house. He set a badass trap for the little fucker, including a plate of honey and a giant bucket. Well what do ya know, an hour later the mouse was caught in a pool of thick honey suffocating and freaking the fuck out. He woke me up last night flipping out trying to get out of the bucket. I'm 90% sure he was dead this morning, but I was too big of a chicken to go and look! I made my dad promise me the mouse wouldn't attack me out of anger at my actions against him, before I would go grab some clean panties out of the dryer. I stood at the door, staring at the bucket for a good 10 minutes before I sprinted to the dryer, grabbed a hand full of clothes (hoping some panties were in there) and sprinted back to the door and up the steps. So I'm not certain that the little fucker is dead, or even IN the bucket still. I wouldn't be surprised if he had gotten out without knocking over the bucket. Wouldn't be surprised at all.
Needless to say, I had horrifying dreams about mice. Little mice, big mice, beds full of mice... *shudders*

Fucking hate mice.
Little fucker better be dead when I get home, or his ass is getting bleached.


PS. Yes, there WERE clean panties in the hand full of laundry I recovered from the mouse's lair, or else I would be going commando today.





EDIT!!!

Went home today, and asked my brave lesbian mommies to take care of the mouse. Well Ha! There were TWO of them in there! Little fuckerSSS.


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